Half House Warface: Demon Robots

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Link (Youtube)

There are no words in any living tongue to describe just how unpleasant Warface’s AI soldiers are to engage with, but over the course of this play session we certainly try our best. Understand, dear viewer, that these are not simply bots.

No, they are electronic fiends loosed from the depths of cyber-hell. They come jittering, gyrating, speed-sliding from all angles without respite, paying no obeisance to momentum. They shoot in directions they’re not looking while sprinting on a third axis, lock their gaze onto you through walls, devour your magazines without a single flinch, and sometimes literally don’t realize they’ve been killed.

I’ve played every generation of FPS since Wolfenstein, and these are the worst shooter enemies I have ever seen. Yes, worse than Orion: Dino Horde.

You may also notice a rare sighting of the Korean F2P Coop Boss in today’s episode. This elusive creature is defined by its singular gimmick, unreasonable tenacity, and complete lack of both creativity and enjoyment factor. Frequently identified as a game mechanic, the Korean F2P Coop Boss is in fact a member of the genus Currenciform Extracticus – a nonreactive natural obstacle which siphons revive coins from passing players. Once depleted, the target organism has no recourse but to spend real money to continue playing the game. And so the cycle of Korean F2P Life Token continues.

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