Today on Full House we hunt a sexy (?) beast. Sam has fought long and hard, I face my stiffest video editing challenge, Azalius lampoons this game with the red-hot fire poker of his burning desire, while Grant is granted a visitation from the ghost of Castlevanias past and Euthansia affirms his degree in Stupid Anthrobiology. Forgive us our baseborn humour, for there is literally nothing else to talk about.
Lest you were wondering where the Kojima Factor came into play in Lords of Shadow’s script, this episode is prime evidence. Gabriel and COHNEHLLL talk for almost half the episode, just sort standing at arms reach and slowly walking in circles. No matter its content, I think there are more elegant ways to get this backstory across than the two major characters waving their arms and chewing the fat in one long session that more resembles a job interview than a tense confrontation. On the other hand, at least that means a concentrated does of Cornell’s best Tony Jay impression, and the more of that I can get, the better.
The backstory itself is actually kind of neat. The founders of Gabriel’s order have ascended to heaven and left their mortal bodies behind, but within the discarded flesh their sin remains, aware of itself, and takes the form of their darker nature – the eponymous Lords of Shadow. That is a hook many times stronger than I was expecting. It’s ideas like these, nested in even the most wretched and derivative of stories, that make doing this worthwhile. That and the time where we put a mech on top of a tank and it got wrecked by some dinosaurs.
Finally, the actual fight… Compared to the construct last week, Cornell is a pretty middle of the road boss battle. He has the fun counter-combo gimmick but immediately offsets it with his poorly telegraphed unavoidable ground slam. He has a pretty entertaining first stage but follows it up with a final form you have to beat by running away and breaking things while he hits you with total impunity. Given what we’ve dealt with so far he’s really not bad – he’s just… bad. Amazing voice, though.